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Reflections
of Returning Students
I'm
homesick ... but I'm home
I cried and cried on the plane and on the bus. I didn't want to
come back. When I was with my parents, it was nice meeting them,
but my mind was still back in my host country. After a certain
point my parents and friends didn't want to hear about it
anymore, and I had absolutely no one to talk to.
Am I
happy to be an American
Once I got to the US, I was repulsed. The grocery store scene
was the worst. I walked in and counted over a hundred different
kinds of pop and many kinds of breakfast cereal. It made me sick
because it just isn't necessary. I was amazed at how much excess
we have and how I had never even thought of it as excess.
Immediate
and initial shock
I hated coming back. The first day-getting into Chicago, I
didn't even want to be there. I got into the van, and I was
yelling at the driver to slow down because I thought he was
driving too fast. Everything seemed to fly by. The driver
stopped at Burger King or something, and I didn't feel like
going in at all.
Things
have changed
I was struck by how many things had happened that I didn't know
about. I was almost mad in a way like "Why didn't you guys tell
me?"
Nobody
understands
I was angry with my parents and with everybody for not
understanding why I was depressed. I just cried at the drop of a
hat, and they didn't understand. I didn't know how to explain it
to them. They were tired of listening to my stories, and I could
never make the stories sound the way they were! It was
frustrating.
Life at
home bores me
I was sitting around one day after I got home. It was a cold
December day. I think it was drizzling. I was so tired of lying
around. My overseas travels were such a big adventure and all of
a sudden I had no stimulus whatsoever. I had nothing to look
forward to except going back to school. I remember getting up,
putting on some sweats, and just running. All of a sudden I
realized that this was cathartic and I ran as fast as I could,
ran and ran and ran.
Why do I
feel like this?
Part of my re-entry shock
was feeling guilty about my overseas
experience, feeling like mine wasn't as good as other people's,
and maybe I didn't like it as much as I should have, and maybe I
didn't have the best attitude all the time, and feeling like I
somehow failed.
Taken from:
Study Abroad/Learning Abroad. Hess, Daniel. Intercultural
Press: Yarmouth, ME
(1997).
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